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You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J states. At that moment preparing for her first album release in eight years, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for a decade, feeling invincible. Then in March she was told she had breast cancer.

The musician, real name Jess Cornish, is known for speaking her mind. The album, the provocatively titled album, was intended as an candid account, addressing every moment of pain she’d experienced since she last worked on songs (a gynecological condition, pregnancy loss, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicide) with typical candour. The initial release, her single No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The cancer. Later follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and Cornish was talking to press about how she was living her best life, while at the same time living with her cancer. Four weeks after she shared the news, and in the start of summer she received surgical treatment.

She gives me her best “Are you kidding?” glance. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they inquire, ‘Any updates?’ and I’m, like, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to call off performances because she’s still waiting for reconstructive surgery.

We meet at a photo studio in London. She is sporting a tan faux-leather coat, denim trousers with elaborate white patches, off-white boots and oversized specs. Think biker chic meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “As if I’m in the 1970s and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the movie. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She smiles. Jessie is sharp-witted, irreverent and direct. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is hoping to make her standup debut in the coming year. “I love making people laugh. During performances I frequently joke about the audience.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

Cornish was preparing for an appearance at the awards show when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it examined, had an test, and they said, ‘It seems benign; your breasts are normal.’ And I was, like, ‘Yet I sense it. I’ve got an achy arm and pins and needles in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘How about a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the post-birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was bad news she’d call on the Monday. By then Cornish had convinced herself it was fine. The way she tells it, it was simply too inconvenient to get cancer when she had so much on.

“Just two weeks before from releasing the album after years away and four years without a single. And she contacted me and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she says, ‘You might want to sit.’ That sympathetic voice? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have come back as high-grade cancer cells.’” What was your reaction? “I replied, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. That’s not fucking great timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”

I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself

She considered the operation scary and bizarre. “I dislike anesthesia. They lead you. In urgent cases you go on a gurney, but this time I just marched with a hospital gown and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but yet I’m grateful it was caught soon. I had the mastectomy recently and my affected breast now resembles a fruit under fabric.” Another grin. “At least the nipple remains.”

The follow-up procedure is for health and appearance. Her chest, she observes, are now “uneven. The implant is larger than before. So inconsiderate! I thought, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a difficult experience. How offensive! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be ideal. Cancer ruined that plan.”

A History of Health Challenges

The singer is no stranger to illness. She feels her attitude toward illness has been so positive because she’s familiar with physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, acting as a reminder, or shock, to remind her not to be complacent. “Truly, I feel life goes, ‘Things going well? Hold on.’ From a young age, it has always gone alongside achievements for me; a major or strange event has affected my well-being.”

She takes me back to her childhood, already starting her career featuring in the West End in the production (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was diagnosed with the medical problem a syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She skips forward six years, and young Jessica has entered the trio the group while studying at the performing arts school. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was ready to debut in the year 2020 I had a car crash and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a year.”

Oi, I say, wait, I can’t keep up. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees